Here’s Saturday Night Lives skits on the issue as well:
Host: Which brings us to this week's "What Would It Take???", where we ask: "What would it take for Barack Obama to lose your vote?" [ grabs stack of cards and reads ] "Would President Obama lose your vote... if he repealed healthcare?"
Ronny Williams: [ shaking head ] Nope.
Althea Davis: I would just wear a warmer coat.
Host: "Would he lose your vote if he raised taxes on the Middle Class?"
Ronny Williams: We all gotta pitch in!
Althea Davis: I frequently use our public roads AND facilities.
Host: "Would President Obama lose your vote if he was caught cheating on Michelle?"
Ronny Williams: Nope! Ain't my business!
Althea Davis: It depends on who he's cheating with.
Host: Jennifer Hudson.
Althea Davis: [ she shrugs ] I'm okay with that.
Host: Jennifer Lopez.
Althea Davis: You can't blame a man.
Host: Kim Kardashian.
Althea Davis: He ain't Super Man. He's just a president.
Host: Oprah!
Althea Davis: I'd get with Oprah.
Host: [ stealthily ] Ke$ha!
Althea Davis: Ke$ha?! No sir! I would be very upset if Barack was with that busted-up white girl! Now... is this just a one-time thing?
Host: No, no, no -- he is in love... with Ke$ha.
Althea Davis: [ shaking her head ] Mmm-mmm! I do not like it, but I am okay with it as long as he does'nt move in with her.
Host: He moves in and they have a joint bank account.
Althea Davis: Oooooh, no! No, no, no! [ she shakes her head ]
Host: Does he still have your vote?
Althea Davis: [ a beat ] He does.
Host: Moving on! Alright... "President Obama does an in-studio appearance on Hot 97. On his way out of the studio, he witnesses a fight that ends in gunfire..."
Ronny Williams: [ he shrugs ] It happens.
Host: But, hold on now. "The cops ask Obama who started it, and... he tells them."
Ronny Williams: [ confused ] So he was snitching?!
Host: He was SNITCHING!
Ronny Williams: Ohhhh, my lord, Barack! What you DOING?!
Host: Wait, wait. I'm not even done. "Mitt Romney also sees the fight... don't say nothin'."
Ronny Williams: You know, I respect that -- I do. But I can't vote for Mitt Romney. He looks like the bad guy in every blaxploitation movie.
Althea Davis: I see him, and I'm like, "Look out, Dolemite!"
Ronny Williams: Barack's still got my vote.
Host: Alright. Okay. Okay. Alright. "President Obama shuts down the Apollo!"
Ronny Williams: Must be renovating.
Althea Davis: They need to redo those floors.
Host: Very well! Next one! "After a thorough investigation, President Obama is arrested for the 1996 shooting of Tupac Shakur! Does he lose your vote?"
[ the panel gives this some serious thought ]
Ronny Williams: Look -- it pains me to say this, it really does... but it’s a well-known fact that Tupac had a mouth on him.
Althea Davis: He had a temper, no question.
Ronny Williams: [ shaking head ] Nope.
Althea Davis: I would just wear a warmer coat.
Host: "Would he lose your vote if he raised taxes on the Middle Class?"
Ronny Williams: We all gotta pitch in!
Althea Davis: I frequently use our public roads AND facilities.
Host: "Would President Obama lose your vote if he was caught cheating on Michelle?"
Ronny Williams: Nope! Ain't my business!
Althea Davis: It depends on who he's cheating with.
Host: Jennifer Hudson.
Althea Davis: [ she shrugs ] I'm okay with that.
Host: Jennifer Lopez.
Althea Davis: You can't blame a man.
Host: Kim Kardashian.
Althea Davis: He ain't Super Man. He's just a president.
Host: Oprah!
Althea Davis: I'd get with Oprah.
Host: [ stealthily ] Ke$ha!
Althea Davis: Ke$ha?! No sir! I would be very upset if Barack was with that busted-up white girl! Now... is this just a one-time thing?
Host: No, no, no -- he is in love... with Ke$ha.
Althea Davis: [ shaking her head ] Mmm-mmm! I do not like it, but I am okay with it as long as he does'nt move in with her.
Host: He moves in and they have a joint bank account.
Althea Davis: Oooooh, no! No, no, no! [ she shakes her head ]
Host: Does he still have your vote?
Althea Davis: [ a beat ] He does.
Host: Moving on! Alright... "President Obama does an in-studio appearance on Hot 97. On his way out of the studio, he witnesses a fight that ends in gunfire..."
Ronny Williams: [ he shrugs ] It happens.
Host: But, hold on now. "The cops ask Obama who started it, and... he tells them."
Ronny Williams: [ confused ] So he was snitching?!
Host: He was SNITCHING!
Ronny Williams: Ohhhh, my lord, Barack! What you DOING?!
Host: Wait, wait. I'm not even done. "Mitt Romney also sees the fight... don't say nothin'."
Ronny Williams: You know, I respect that -- I do. But I can't vote for Mitt Romney. He looks like the bad guy in every blaxploitation movie.
Althea Davis: I see him, and I'm like, "Look out, Dolemite!"
Ronny Williams: Barack's still got my vote.
Host: Alright. Okay. Okay. Alright. "President Obama shuts down the Apollo!"
Ronny Williams: Must be renovating.
Althea Davis: They need to redo those floors.
Host: Very well! Next one! "After a thorough investigation, President Obama is arrested for the 1996 shooting of Tupac Shakur! Does he lose your vote?"
[ the panel gives this some serious thought ]
Ronny Williams: Look -- it pains me to say this, it really does... but it’s a well-known fact that Tupac had a mouth on him.
Althea Davis: He had a temper, no question.
By Epictetus
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