In this special episode, our host knocks down some of the myths surrounding Republicans and presents instead the Revolting Truth that they are smarter, kinder, more compassionate and more liberal than their Democrat counterparts. See the video and transcript below.
TRANSCRIPT:
I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth
Everything you know about Republicans is wrong. That’s not because you’re stupid. Well, some of you are stupid. That guy over there looks like an idiot. But for the rest of you, it’s because the flow of important information in America has been largely monopolized by Democrats and Democrats lie. Because they’re Democrats.
Reliable studies show that somewhere between 72 and eleventy gazillion percent of American college professors are Democrats, so the information you get at school is skewed. Only about 28% of American journalists say they’re Democrats but that’s because they’re Democrats and Democrats lie. In fact, about 88 percent of campaign contributions from American journalists go to the Democrats, so the information you get from the news media is skewed. And of course, there aren’t enough Republicans in Hollywood to field a softball team so the information you get from the entertainment media is also skewed Democrat. Only a person who is dedicated to seeking out and finding reliable independent information can break through the cloud of leftist propaganda and get at the Revolting Truth… Here it is:
One – Republicans are smarter than Democrats. Oh yes, they are. A recent study out of Oxford shows that Strong Republicans have almost a five and a half point IQ advantage over strong Democrats, and even moderate Republicans have nearly 3 and a half points more IQ than their moderate Democrat counterparts. A researcher at Yale recently startled himself by discovering Tea Partiers know more about science than the general public, and the New York Times, a former newspaper, nearly choked reporting that Tea Party supporters are more educated overall.
Who told you Democrats were smarter? Democrats! As when the media loudly declared Sarah Palin was too stupid to be vice president but somehow neglected to mention that Biden is another word for gormless buffoon. The brains are with the elephants; the asses are Bidens… and vice versa.
Two – Republicans are kinder and more compassionate than Democrats. Hold the phone! That can’t be right. But it is. The best studies show that Republicans consistently give more money to charity, maybe as much as thirty percent more. They also volunteer about ten percent more of their time. These facts make Democrats uncomfortable… just about all facts make Democrats uncomfortable… They say, yes, but we’re more compassionate because we believe in taking other people’s money by force and using it to start government programs that breed corruption and dependency and destroy liberty… but that’s actually not that good an argument.
Finally, Republicans are more liberal than Democrats. This is a no brainer – so even Democrats can understand it. Get it? Because their IQ’s are… Never mind. See, the media have managed to redefine liberal to mean not liberal. Giving government the power to confiscate people’s property to use for its own purposes is not liberal. Giving government the power to force individuals of faith to violate their consciences – that’s not liberal either. It’s the Democrats in universities who impose limitations on what students can hear and talk about. It’s the Democrats in Congress who tried to pass a constitutional amendment limiting your right to voice an opinion about political candidates. It’s Republicans who believe in free speech, free markets and free minds. And if you think Democrats are more liberal about sex, then you haven’t read California’s yes means yes law or listened to feminists redefining the word rape to mean just about everything. Sure, some Republicans may have crotchety opinions about sex, but at least they don’t want to outlaw and demonize it.
Now don’t get me wrong. We here at the Revolting Truth are not hyping Republican politicians. Politicians are what they are. We’re simply saying that if you’re a Democrat, you’re probably stupid, stingy and oppressive. Kind of a Biden really.
I’m Andrew Klavan with the Revolting Truth.
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